No more Irish car bombs ever.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
