I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
