SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
