I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
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Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
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I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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