But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She announced her abortion via fbk
high people should be assigned attendants
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
