my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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