Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
