So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
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No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize