You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
