In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
