I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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