he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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