Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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