I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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