i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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