The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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