I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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