im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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