She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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