I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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