just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
