I would go down on you faster than GM stock
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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