Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
