Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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