i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
