'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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