I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
