someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
