I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
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