just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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