I just cut my nipple shaving
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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