make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
