walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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