go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize