I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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