Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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