Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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