Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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