Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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