There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
