She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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