I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.