scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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