After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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