Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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