the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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