I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
