dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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