Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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