thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize