What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Randomize
