So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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