HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
