Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
