Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"

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  (214): i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat" http://tfl.nu/yhqk
  Replies (30) Good night (5008) Bad night (1042)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.

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  (773): Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom. http://tfl.nu/dmbr
  Replies (16) Good night (2340) Bad night (6892)
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  (516): View more from New York

  He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore

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  (516): He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore http://tfl.nu/31xs
  Replies (7) Good night (1120) Bad night (3570)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby

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  (859): Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby http://tfl.nu/0zlt
  Replies (13) Good night (4461) Bad night (1635)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....

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  (940): I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk.... http://tfl.nu/3fzx
  Replies (18) Good night (2971) Bad night (1006)
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  (858): View more from California

  while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go

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  (858): while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go http://tfl.nu/n616
  Replies (7) Good night (3926) Bad night (790)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned

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  (207): making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned http://tfl.nu/s1xm
  Replies (4) Good night (888) Bad night (720)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?

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  (414): It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself? http://tfl.nu/nwby
  Replies (6) Good night (719) Bad night (1604)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.

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  (479): I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk. http://tfl.nu/vgj4
  Replies (7) Good night (1251) Bad night (462)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.

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  (404): Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on. http://tfl.nu/451u
  Replies (7) Good night (780) Bad night (916)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.

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  (407): I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy. http://tfl.nu/m02m
  Replies (3) Good night (1068) Bad night (344)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning

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  (716): Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning http://tfl.nu/8997
  Replies (2) Good night (522) Bad night (261)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious

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  (239): We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious http://tfl.nu/iovv
  Replies (6) Good night (782) Bad night (472)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign

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  (717): He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign http://tfl.nu/lo7q
  Replies (3) Good night (1094) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Paige is home safe.

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.

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  (574): Paige is home safe. (574): Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys. http://tfl.nu/n38o
  Replies (0) Good night (335) Bad night (479)

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