Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!

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  (502): Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!! http://tfl.nu/qcph
  Replies (42) Good night (1053) Bad night (20212)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.

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  (602): no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself. http://tfl.nu/5qf3
  Replies (2) Good night (839) Bad night (3752)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."

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  (804): I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock." http://tfl.nu/9z32
  Replies (20) Good night (4486) Bad night (687)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.

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  (860): Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious. http://tfl.nu/hqob
  Replies (10) Good night (3673) Bad night (518)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.

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  (647): Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar. http://tfl.nu/rv9o
  Replies (27) Good night (1185) Bad night (9752)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.

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  (724): I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more. http://tfl.nu/i8a4
  Replies (13) Good night (3214) Bad night (1204)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.

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  (973): I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning. http://tfl.nu/dg43
  Replies (4) Good night (3765) Bad night (879)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?

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  (630): there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have? http://tfl.nu/04yo
  Replies (22) Good night (3187) Bad night (1243)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.

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  (513): I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY. http://tfl.nu/5vxl
  Replies (7) Good night (2951) Bad night (1025)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?

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  (678): Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up? http://tfl.nu/320o
  Replies (10) Good night (2830) Bad night (850)
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  (516): View more from New York

  VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR

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  (516): VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR http://tfl.nu/4b6v
  Replies (3) Good night (1531) Bad night (953)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.

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  (206): Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates. http://tfl.nu/0lrq
  Replies (5) Good night (875) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.

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  (518): hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person. http://tfl.nu/wx7g
  Replies (2) Good night (935) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.

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  (925): michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him. http://tfl.nu/5r7o
  Replies (2) Good night (988) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'

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  (440): Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.' http://tfl.nu/rdeh
  Replies (2) Good night (262) Bad night (376)

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