I got chris browned last night
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
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Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
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She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?