remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now