when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
