never play flip cup with pint glasses
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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