Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
