'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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