so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
porn star boner night. come get it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
