Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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